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  • I think I’m love bombing myself!

    Pretty straightforward. So this year I’ve talked to 3 women. The first was a very sweet childhood friend of mine. Shes kind, caring and thoughtful. Incredibly beautiful and on paper, should be everything that I want in a woman. It just doesn’t click for us, and I guess that’s my fault. She ended up cutting me off (deservedly so) after years of stringing her along. That led me to do a deep pussyless dive into how i was treating women and how, at my big age, I’m too old to not have my shit together. So we ended up going our separate ways.

    Contestant #2 for 2024 was a career minded very successful woman. She made more money than me, but it didn’t bother me because I could still pay for everything we wanted to do and did comfortably. She wanted to take roots in Atlanta, and I wanted to travel the world and wander for a bit. We had been talking off and on over the course of a couple years but nothing serious till the summertime. That summertime love. Maybe it’s the heat, or the sun, but I always find some form of love when the sun is out. We went on a couple of dates, got a high-rise hotel for a weekend, that was very dope. Cooked for each other as well. Me a basic breakfast (eggs, potatoes, fruit bowl). She ended up cooking a wonderful salmon meal. Thats another thing that’s on my list this year, leveling up my cooking. I need to be in somebody’s class or something. But yeah. Sex was amazing. Lots of impromptu things and I really enjoyed picking her brain. Extremely intelligent as well. We ended up not working because she knew I was leaving and pulled an ultimatum. Fuck. I really did care for her too, but I guess it was for the best because that’s the only way we would both get what we want.

    I’ll be right back, I have to get a pillow for my bad ass back (another days story).

    ok. Im back.

    Contestant #3. (current situation) So there I was minding my business in late October. On a hike and I met a girl. She is a veteran like me. We joke and laugh and click immediately. I’m happy, temporarily. Well it’s kinda my fault. I’ll explain. When I first met her I ended up getting her information a week later. Anyways, she ended up going out on 2 dates with me in the same week, which is pretty rare for me. I haven’t done that in years, literally. So anyways, we go on the dates, things go well, a little too well because I’m telling her I love her like a week later, and she’s saying it to. and as I’m typing this I’m realizing that I’m indeed love bombing myself. So anyways, I start going over her place. At first for a day. After that for days, very week. Not only that but we’re talking about getting married, and matching tattoos. LMAO, the shame as I’m typing this. SO now we’re fighting. Like all the fucking time. Like I’m back in high school frustration. For what, not a damn thing. So I tried to break up a couple times and it hasn’t worked yet because I’m weird about wanting to leave but not before i get tired of lusting after them. Shit’s hella uncool and weird. I’m going to address that internally immediately. I been correcting all these grammatical errors like small i’s like a lil dweeb. back to the story. so then i get my hands on this book, called The way of the Superior man by David dieda. Life changing stuff. So basically now im in a win win situation. If i do all these things for this woman and she plays me or im not happy, its great practice for my wife to be, wherever she is. If not and SHE is my wife, then i’ll have great patience and be able to take on anything. So i consider it a win win.

    I’m actually really enjoying getting my thoughts out like this. I think this is going to become a regular thing for me, even if it isnt much. Like Julie Julia. She ended up having a whole movie written about her. (theyy aint fenna write a story about you nigga).

    Life is looking up. I just have to consistently stay out my way. This will be a big time in my life if I do it right, God willing. See you at the top!

    Lee – Full Album Lofi Type Beat is what I’m listening to while I’m typing this. Catch a vibe

  • Day 1

    I guess this is my way of getting my feelings down on “paper”. I’ve always enjoyed writing, I feel like it’s my best form of communication by far. Funny thing is, that I only type about 30 words a minute so I can’t really say I’m that proficient.

    A little about me, I’m black (yes, I had to state that first but stay with me). I was in the military for most of my 20’s and I’m mid 30’s now. I’m getting used to being called Unk and little wrinkles and things showing up on my face. I’m kinda in amazement. Its actually the first time in my life I can visibly see myself aging. I enjoy anime, all kinds of music, and learning random facts about life and people. I’m slick a nerd that doesn’t really come off as one. I also think I’m a little bit cooler sometimes than I actually am. I blame anime, I guess.

    Enough about me for now, I’m kinda a private person. Anyways this is my first blog. I don’t know where this will go or what this will accomplish, but this will be my little slice of the internet. Just for me, you can look but you can’t touch. If anyone ever reads this, I hope it brings them the peace and happiness I’m in search of, if only for a little bit.

    I guess the main reason for this vlog is to just vent. And be able to put my feelings and thoughts out in the air, even if I’m the only one who will ever read it. I’m grateful for this year. I feel like it’ll be a really good one. Plus, I’m due for a win, hopefully.

    I’m listening to gmills and aimless – drifting. It’s such a pretty song. I’d love to be able to create beats. I think I’d be pretty good at it. Anywho, enough rambling for today. This is my year. And if you’re reading this, whenever you read this, this is your year too!