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Today wasn’t a good day

So essentially I’m writing because I’m trying to stay more consistent. Im getting better with that, so here I am. I understand now, more than ever, the person who I want to be doesn’t fuck with the person I am today. Change. Keep the good, get rid of the bad. This isn’t a new year new me post. This is a new day, new PR post. Everyday I am getting better. Im proud of myself for doing better than yesterday, and challenging myself to do better tomorrow. Also, “doing your best,” and “doing the best you can,” usually aren’t the same thing. So I’m doing the best I can, until I can do my best. If nobody reads that I still think its profound, at least to me.

Get money.

I love you.

I’ve had Covid for a week. I’m over it now, so it’s time to get to work. It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve been single single. I went on hinge and had a couple dates, one for myself. And went on a big hike with BLK hiking club. I love being outdoors more. Now it’s time to step my game up and thrive. I need to organize my life today. Let’s get it.

It came and went. I really need to get more consistent on here. I haven’t talked to her in a week today, and I feel amazing. Cultivating some dope relationships online and send on a date and to high bias society last wed. and went on a hike yesterday as well

Now I’m sick. I’m not sure from where, but I am. But I feel good leaving old things behind. The next message will be written better but for now, this is what I have.

Love.

So apologies. I’ve been MIA for farrrrr too long. So I ended up talking back to my ex for a couple weeks. Decent but I know I shouldn’t have been. So I’m done on that front.

Life has been decent. The market has been ok and I’m waiting on a determination from the VA on my status. Been hitting the gym and doing better overall. I’m appreciative and truly blessed. god has had His hands around me the whole time.

I just got back on dating apps yesterday, and am talking to some interesting people already, so we’ll see how this all goes in the grand scheme of things. I’m happy alone, although I do get lonely from time to time, hence the relapses with Ms S. But I’m sure that will fade once I go on a good date or 2.

This is my best year to date of the 2020’s and ima keep building on the momentum!

I’m writing just to get back on track. Today I’m lonely. I miss my ex. For what reason, I don’t even know. She was lowkey terrible. It’s amazing that comfort and fear of change will have you feeling a ridiculous way. I don’t have any reason whatsoever (besides her cooking) to miss her. She was manipulative, a liar, and slick mean. But I got used to the bullshit so I miss her. I miss my comfort, even if it was in hell.

In other news, I’ve been consistently working out. I’m proud of myself for that. Now I gotta work on getting the rest of my life in order. Lmao. Soon come.

Tomorrow will be a good day. Praise God.

I guess I hit a little slide and coincidentally so did my trading account. I’m back in full effect tomorrow. See you then!

Also I went to my ex’s crib and was quickly reminded that even with the best intentions, she can’t follow through. Left early this morning I have no reason to go back. Even lust doesn’t suffice anymore. Nothing against her. She’s gonna be great for someone. Just not for me.

Good afternoon! Today has been cool so far. No trades. Went to the store to pick up some workout clothes and have been relaxing. At 4 ima heat up and finish my day after the market closes. I still have to go to the gym.

FOMC Meeting is tomorrow so I’m excited about that. Got a nice little chunk of change to play with. So hopefully I can flip into something fire. Tryna hit 2k by Friday. Good luck!

Goood afternoon! Today is a good day. I dropped the mental baggage after I was dumped 😂. Had my second best trading day ever! MOH. So I’m happy about that, plus I’m ahead of schedule this week from the nice little influx of cash

4000% was insane. Once a year type play. All praise to God.

Hit the gym this morning. Did legs. I’m proud of myself for actually just going to the gym and working out. Not caring what people think or if they’re looking and workout. (For the record I’m fine as fuck, at least I think so but I’m way too concerned with others peoples thoughts in general.) then I came home and did abs. When I get a 6 pack again I might just post that mf in here just because.

Also staying on schedule. Just got a lot of free time today from that big trade, but shit still needs to get done. I also need to go grocery shopping too but ima wait till a nigga gets paid. Welp. Gotta get above survival. Soon come. Trust and believe. Days like today in the market are about to be the norm instead of the exception.

Back to work!

I love you black man!

So my phone died this morning, and I turned it on to see that my girlfriend thought I blocked her and spazzed out and broke up with me. She said I’m too moody. The one who thinks I blocked her so she broke up with me says I’m too moody. But this is a blessing so who am I to be upset. I am upset though. I’m upset because I thought I was doing her a favor by sticking around and got swept with this. So I am a little upset. But ultimately I have to thank God. Because there was no light at the end of this tunnel. I want to send one of those cards I bought but I’ll keep them and give them to someone else. Not romantically just period.

Why is it that I still am a little heartbroken? I did really care about her. But she honestly was the fucking worst. So then why am I still sad? Idk. The heart does what it wants. Now I got more money for my goals and more time to lock the fuck in.

I’m in between hate and sadness. Can’t make this shit up. To God be the glory.

I love you black man!